Yes, I know I have been conspicuously absent the last few weeks... *hangs head in shame*
Well, that's down to 3 reasons:
1. failing health - AGAIN! Accumulated pains and aches, colds, a sprained ankle, total loss of voice..you name it, I got it
2. I've been sucked into Facebook! Username's "Michaela Deas" if anyone feels like tracking me down.
3. Best excuse EVER: Steve's book was officially published last Thursday!! Wait.. let me say that again and capitalise it for good measure.. STEVE'S BOOK WAS OFFICIALLY PUBLISHED LAST THURSDAY!!
It is called "The Adamantine Palace" and is part one of a dragon-centric trilogy. And it's obviously fabulous!! Sold to Germany, France and the States already, coming out in Australia in May. Available in all bookstores, on Amazon..you get the idea..
oh, and Joe Abercrombie says it rocks too!
..and here's the link to the website http://www.stephendeas.com/
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"Mummy, I love you"
"How much? Lots and lots?"
"Yes, mummy! Lots and lots of muches!!!"
Son no. 2 has me SO wrapped around his little damp fingers... *sighs*
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It's been a few days since I've come back from Germany but I've only just found the right moment to post. What was supposed to be a trip to celebrate my best friends birthday (as we do every year) was very suddenly changed into something different altogether when on Sunday 08/02 I received a phonecall. "The" phonecall that I had been secretly dreading for a good while now, a call that confirmed my worst fears. My ex had committed suicide! Instead of celebrating my best friends birthday, I'd be burying my ex..the world stopped spinning, the walls closed in and my mind went blank while my friend was sobbing on the other end of the line.
Gone. Forever. Gone.
And what's worse, by personal choice.
The thought that nothing I said, no help I offered, no amount of hugs, hours of talk, bottles of wine, nothing..nothing made a difference in the end, no one could have stopped him. He was severely depressed, and thinking back, had been for a long time. And the loneliness and the void just got too much. I told him that I had been in the very same place. Not being able to see the "light", wanting to kill myself rather than having to live through one more day in this darkness. I was depressed too, thought I was going crazy, didn't recognise myself any more. And I thought it was too much effort to go on, too painful and it would be better for everyone else if I just "left" rather than have Steve and my children watch me push the self destruct button day after day. But in the end, my desire to grow old with Steve and watch my boys grow up won over and I sought help. A year on, and I can say that antidepressants make all the difference in the world and it tears me apart to know that I couldn't make my ex take one last chance and follow in my footsteps to seek professional help.
As much as I miss him, as much as I will always love him (we were together for over a decade and remained the best of friends until the end), I also have to respect his decision. He was a grown-up man and entitled to decide when "enough was simply enough".
He was so gentle and kind. Someone with the biggest heart. Always trying to understand everything and everyone, trying not to be judgemental, seeing the good in everyone but never being able to see the good in himself. To acknowledge his own talent and to know just how many friends he had, how many people loved him and how deserving he was of being loved.
I find some comfort in the knowledge that he's no longer lonely - and who knows, maybe I will see him again one day. And then I will tell him off, give him the biggest of bear hugs and then patiently listen to endless hours of EBM while playing "Risk" - without the hint of a complaint.
And we will laugh...
Rest in peace, my love xx
"My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed is ours
Moments lost and time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits"
(VNV Nation - 'My beloved')
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..by all means, anything..
Just don't call me "cute"!! Someone did this again very recently and I hate it. This particular person obviously had no idea and certainly didn't mean to grump me (quite the contrary, I suspect). But, man, does it tick me off! I am fat, forty (well, almost) and fabulous. I may well also fit lots of other descriptions like "funny, loving, caring,flirty,mischievous, intelligent, "Shit misstress of Narkland* is one of my particular favourites coined by my darling husband for my not so memorable days.. but DO NOT call me cute!!
I'm sick and tired of it - "cute" makes me think of little girls, kittens, fluffy things, pinkness, flowers and butterflies - and that is most certainly NOT me!
What about "sexy, seductive and mysterious"? What about that? What's wrong with that,eh, EH??!!
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Did I mention that I really do not get Twitter? I find it rather annoying actually.Especially if I end up getting only bits of conversations that people appear to be having, all mashed together into one garbled post. And besides, do I really need to know which one of my friends had toast this morning and how all the crumbs are now stuck in cracks that have not seen the light of day in a long time?
So, yes.. I say a firm "No" to Twitter - Leech of my increasingly special spare time!
Trouble is, I am finding myself slowly getting sucked into the whole thing actually and this is where it gets really embarrassing. My resistance is slowly fading like the slush outside my front door.
And it's all because of YOU, Stephen and Neil!!
Yes, damn you Mr. Fry and Mr. Gaiman - damn that wit!!! Damn it!!!!
*sighs*
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Snow..wheee!!
Part of me is utterly delighted by the thick white blanket of snow everywhere and how the world has suddenly fallen silent.
Part of me however thinks "Fuck this, damned school closure.. I was looking forward to some "me time" today!!
Ha!! And nursery's just rung to say they're closing the place at 1pm today... How on earth am I going to get there to rescue my 3 year old??? *headsdesk*
( Read more... )
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Goodies anyone?? :)
The first SIX (6) people to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those six who respond first.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
-- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
-- What I create will be just for you.
-- It'll be done this year.
-- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a mix tape. It may be fic, or a poem. I may draw or paint something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
-- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well, if you expect me to do something for you!
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duly posted as requested by <lj user="duskdragonwing">
Reply to this and I will
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favourite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ
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Crappy synths, catchy chorus and a voice that makes me think "Bananarama and Joan Jetts lovechild?!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN8HwUxFouM
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Make bold the things you have done.
Italicize all the things you WISH you had done or would like to do.
Strikthrough all the things you DO NOT want to do, ever.
Then steal and copy to your LJ.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - money can't buy me the things I really want. Like bringing my dead relatives back to life etc.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance .
47. Had your portrait painted by your mother.
48. Gone deep sea fishing - nice idea but I'm very prone to sea sickness :(
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - ..discovering on the way up in the lift that I suffer from vertigo.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in movie
55. Been in a movie - does an appearance on news on German tv count?
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business - I am actually currently the director of one.. call me Frau Direktor :)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies -
62. Gone whale watching - I've thrown up with dolphins in NZ...does that count?
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp .- definitely one day...
67. Bounced a cheque
68. Flown in a helicopter - and loved every minute of it..despite my vertigo..strange, huh?
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar and discovered it's a yucky waste of money
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone. - Broke two toes walking into the archway in our kitchen...ouchie!!!
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - well, my other half is doing that atm.. and I'm taking some credit for that..deservedly..long story..so yes, kinda
81. Visited the Vatican -
82. Bought a brand new car - should I ever pass my test...
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible. - Parts of it..then I got bored..
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - several people over the years. Used to be big into collecting autographs in my late teens and early twenties
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one. Unfortunately far too many :(
94. Had a baby - yep, two and they refuse to go away :)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee - I can give you a wasp if that's ok..
100. Read an entire book in one day - the Lucky bones by Alice Seibold
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We're at home, my 3 1/2 year old and I, amusing each other by playing with balloons and having semi philosophical debates about the Lego Death Star. Then he suddenly bumps his head with a loud thump and promptly bursts into tears. I go to give him a big cuddle, desperately trying to think of ways to distract him from the pain. I can actually feel a small "dent" where his little head hit the corner and tell him about it - to which he replies "Oh Mama, does that mean I get to go to the DENTist now?!"
...awwwwww.. gotta love him :)
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As certain people on here can testify, I actually made it to the Halloween party at Club AntiChrist on Friday and I looked mighty fine, I thought. And it was pretty damn "whow" and not just because of my gorgeous companion (oh sweet agony). Sooo many pretty people in awesome costumes and outfits. The place was absolutely heaving. The admission price was worth it for people watching alone. And at no point did the the naughtiness and nakedness get too much to handle. Spot the fetish club newbie here!
Will I be back for more? - oh hell yeah :D
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..let me assure you that yours truly in a gold bikini would NOT be a pleasant sight!
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Yesterday saw us heading into London for a belated birthday outing since I was too ill to go on Monday. We meet up with Steve's editor and the publicity guru who both happen to be very lovely people. This is the second time they have met me in person and much to my suprise, I get given a present from said editor.
Lovecraft's "Necronomicon"
Now, what does that say about me or his impression of me?
Oh, how I laughed!!
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I have just heard that Paul Newman has lost his battle with cancer and passed away on Friday. I'm strangely more affected then I thought I might be. After all, mourning a screen icon feels a bit fan girlish.. but, you know, I really really liked the man.
He was blessed with not only a huge amount of talent and disarmingly good looks but also a lot of personal integrity and one of the biggest hearts in the business. Or so it feels to me anyway.
God only knows how his wife and children must feel. Being alone again after a marriage that spanned over 50 years.
The world has lost one of the good ones.. :(
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I so love those!! They have me in tears of laughter!
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snatched from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wolfpeach
Take a photo of yourself right now.. don't do your hair, change what you wear or run away to put on makeup..just upload!
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..to post about things that may or may not be out of my comfort zone!
Just saw this on pixie_fae's journal and thought it'd give it a go!
So, ask me..
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So, PolyDay is fast approaching. I will definitely be heading down into London for what, I am sure, will be one fabulously informative, hug and fun filled day.
Who else is going?
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oh.. I quite like this one.. *smiles*
Your result for Fantasy Seduction Quiz: What type of fantasy senario would you like to experience in bed? What type of creature would be most likely to seduce you?... WerewolfRaw Passion 
You attracted a Werewolf. Even though most of these beasts seem the type to grab a quick hump and run, they actually are constantly seeking that one mate. They are dominate, dark, rough, and rarely take no for an answer. Submissive or a switch, you will enjoy a night of raw passion that will be like no other, or you yourself are a bit on the dominate or aggressive side. There may be an inner wolf waiting to get out, if it isn't already off the leash. Either way, the likely hood of an encounter being a one time occurance is very slim. Take Fantasy Seduction Quiz: What type of fantasy senario would you like to experience in bed? What type of creature would be most likely to seduce you? at HelloQuizzy
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